Marriage and Family Relations
Karina Gonzalez
Instructor: Paul Peay
FHS 2400
02-19-15
Essay # 4 Option D: What is Romantic?
As I was having a regular day at work, I noticed my co-workers getting really excited about Valentin' days. When I asked why it is a big deal for them? They responded that besides Christmas, birthdays and Valentine's day, their husbands get romantic and they do nice things for them.
For Katie Robinson female living in a cohabitation relationship,43 years old, the most romantic moment was when her fiance proposed to her on the airplane, she said that they were living together in UT, she was told by her boyfriend that they were flying to Pennsylvania to meet and visit and met his parents. After they spend some time with her boyfriend's parents, they were flying back home and he proposed to her on the plane. What made this event memorable for her was the fact that he was very thoughtful about it and it was a big surprise.
On the other hand for Tony Nelson widow, female 55 years old, explained that not necessarily romantic means big gestures, take you to dinner or even buy you flowers. For her it is usually a surprise or even those wonderful things that your partner let you know that cares about you in a special way. For example she clearly remember when one of her babies was born, she was at the hospital and when she came back home, her husband had cleaned the whole house, and made dinner with beautiful with candles. Also the fact that her husband volunteer to watch the baby so she will rest and sleep. In addition Tony emphasized that what made the moment so memorable was the “though-fullness” and the fact that her husband was thinking about themselves as a couple.
On the contrary according to Broyard Anatole, from The New York Times “romanticism” is just another way for people to continue suffering living in a false dream.
However on the other side of the spectrum, when I tried to have a different perspective about romanticism, I asked Joaquin Zavala divorced, male 67 years old, he just refused to respond and said” that is in the past”, and I also asked his friend Roberto Morales, married, male 58 years old, he responded in a very similar way that is “old stuff.” Evidently for some men specially “Hispanic” romanticism is not something that they get excited about it, and expressing feeling is still some kind of barrier for men to be able to open up about themselves, and it seemed to me that there were some feelings crushed and a painful experience.
For me the most romantic moment was when my kids father surprise me for my birthday with a beautiful cake that he baked and delicious dinner that he prepared specially for me, he bought my favorite flowers, and wrote a special poem for me. What made this event memorable in my life was the fact that that he consider every little detail, and he took the time to do something to make sure the day was special not just for me but for the both of us.
I think romantic has different concepts and meanings like love, though-fullness, suffering, or even irrational. However despite the different perspectives and own experiences in every relationship, those romantic moments creates love and happiness, and make people have that profound desire. Moreover among similarities in romanticism, would it be that everyone feels in love either consciously on unconsciously, and people feel connected with another. On the other hand the differences could be for most relationships just the gender in basic relationships. I strongly believe that for most people romanticism is a magical moment that makes their lives special, and having the opportunity to feel loved, cared, important and deeply connected with their partner.
Works Cited
Anatole Broyard is an editor of The, Book Review. "ABOUT BOOKS; CAN ART MAKE THE WORLD SAFE FOR ROMANTICISM?"New York Times, Late Edition (East Coast) ed. Feb 07 1988.Pro Quest.Web. 17 Feb. 2015.
Instructor: Paul Peay
FHS 2400
02-19-15
Essay # 4 Option D: What is Romantic?
As I was having a regular day at work, I noticed my co-workers getting really excited about Valentin' days. When I asked why it is a big deal for them? They responded that besides Christmas, birthdays and Valentine's day, their husbands get romantic and they do nice things for them.
For Katie Robinson female living in a cohabitation relationship,43 years old, the most romantic moment was when her fiance proposed to her on the airplane, she said that they were living together in UT, she was told by her boyfriend that they were flying to Pennsylvania to meet and visit and met his parents. After they spend some time with her boyfriend's parents, they were flying back home and he proposed to her on the plane. What made this event memorable for her was the fact that he was very thoughtful about it and it was a big surprise.
On the other hand for Tony Nelson widow, female 55 years old, explained that not necessarily romantic means big gestures, take you to dinner or even buy you flowers. For her it is usually a surprise or even those wonderful things that your partner let you know that cares about you in a special way. For example she clearly remember when one of her babies was born, she was at the hospital and when she came back home, her husband had cleaned the whole house, and made dinner with beautiful with candles. Also the fact that her husband volunteer to watch the baby so she will rest and sleep. In addition Tony emphasized that what made the moment so memorable was the “though-fullness” and the fact that her husband was thinking about themselves as a couple.
On the contrary according to Broyard Anatole, from The New York Times “romanticism” is just another way for people to continue suffering living in a false dream.
However on the other side of the spectrum, when I tried to have a different perspective about romanticism, I asked Joaquin Zavala divorced, male 67 years old, he just refused to respond and said” that is in the past”, and I also asked his friend Roberto Morales, married, male 58 years old, he responded in a very similar way that is “old stuff.” Evidently for some men specially “Hispanic” romanticism is not something that they get excited about it, and expressing feeling is still some kind of barrier for men to be able to open up about themselves, and it seemed to me that there were some feelings crushed and a painful experience.
For me the most romantic moment was when my kids father surprise me for my birthday with a beautiful cake that he baked and delicious dinner that he prepared specially for me, he bought my favorite flowers, and wrote a special poem for me. What made this event memorable in my life was the fact that that he consider every little detail, and he took the time to do something to make sure the day was special not just for me but for the both of us.
I think romantic has different concepts and meanings like love, though-fullness, suffering, or even irrational. However despite the different perspectives and own experiences in every relationship, those romantic moments creates love and happiness, and make people have that profound desire. Moreover among similarities in romanticism, would it be that everyone feels in love either consciously on unconsciously, and people feel connected with another. On the other hand the differences could be for most relationships just the gender in basic relationships. I strongly believe that for most people romanticism is a magical moment that makes their lives special, and having the opportunity to feel loved, cared, important and deeply connected with their partner.
Works Cited
Anatole Broyard is an editor of The, Book Review. "ABOUT BOOKS; CAN ART MAKE THE WORLD SAFE FOR ROMANTICISM?"New York Times, Late Edition (East Coast) ed. Feb 07 1988.Pro Quest.Web. 17 Feb. 2015.
Karina Gonzalez
Paul Peay, Instructor
Marriage and Family Relations
FHS 2400
12 February 2015
Option "D" Parents, Peers &Gender Roles
The way my parents influence the development of my gender role in my family, started very young, my parents began to shape me according to my gender assignment at birth. This influence began with my name, clothing colors, family’s behavior and affections towards me. As I got older I was given traditionally feminine toys like dolls and tea sets. My mom began teaching me how to do jobs around the house, like cleaning, cooking, and childcare. However the chores I was trained to do, I never see boys doing any of those. Also I observed how my mom was in the kitchen most of the time, taking care of my siblings, myself even my father. After this repetitive social interaction on gender roles, I began to model myself after her. My conceptions of appropriate gender roles are similar to my parents; in the way I understand a woman’s traditional role of homemaking and being a housewife. I stared to develop such roles like caretaker of the children, housekeeper, and cook. Later in life, like my mom I waited for my husband to come home to eat, and referred to him for decision-making.
On the other hand my concept of these roles has evolved with my life experience and based on unexpected circumstances. Now as a single mother I have adapted to do more traditionally masculine gender roles for example; car maintenance, house maintenance, play sports with my sons and now I am the only one who makes decisions at home. Furthermore while my concept of gender ideology remains, I have become less concerned with gender stereotypes. I understand gender roles are flexible, complicated and are heavily influenced, by economics, culture environment, and other factors. During high school my peers had a big influence of my gender role development. I typically only spent time with people of my same gender, because culturally it was consider inappropriate for boys and girls to socialize together. With my girl friends, we talked about things we had in common and enjoyed, like fashion, music, hair, nails and makeup.
My activities, interests, environment, culture, and peers all had an influence on the development of my understanding of gender roles. I had a boyfriend at the age of 19 and by then I had a good sense of myself as a woman and of what my gender roles were. Perhaps my boyfriend helped me to better understand my sensuality as a woman and my ability to express my feelings. The relationship also gave me the opportunity to learn about myself in a different way and from a different perspective other than my family’s.
The person who most influence my gender-role concept today, is my mother, because I continue the traditional roles that I learn when I was growing up at my home, like keeping the house clean, preparing fresh food for my family, and taking care taking of my children. Her concept of female gender roles created a big impact in my daily life as well as my parenting. As a single mother two boys and one girl, I find myself doing some things differently, not only am I teaching my daughter the traditional female gender roles around the house, but I am also encouraging her to get her education before family, value her intelligence and her beauty, to be independent and self confident.
I am also teaching my boys to cook, clean, to be thoughtful, express their emotions and care for those around them. On the surface gender roles are consistent through the generations, but I can see in my own family how these roles are becoming more broad and flexible. For example, by Mom is now more likely to make decisions on her own and she does not always wait for me dad to eat. Generally speaking men and women are more equal in and outside of the home. Men are more likely to participate in home making activities like food preparation and cleaning while women are also more likely to have a career outside of the home and be more financially independent. According to the text book children are socially trained in order to be able to adapt themselves to different circumstances based on their gender.
I think that as a parent, consciously or unconsciously, I keep modeling my kids to different social norms that are traditionally meaningful specially in my culture. In conclusion it is important to emphasized that gender roles are constantly adapting to many different circumstances not only from their families, but also from biology, economics, politics, education and culture.
Works Cited
Bryan Strong, Theodore F. Cohen: The marriage and family Experience, 2014 print.
Paul Peay, Instructor
Marriage and Family Relations
FHS 2400
12 February 2015
Option "D" Parents, Peers &Gender Roles
The way my parents influence the development of my gender role in my family, started very young, my parents began to shape me according to my gender assignment at birth. This influence began with my name, clothing colors, family’s behavior and affections towards me. As I got older I was given traditionally feminine toys like dolls and tea sets. My mom began teaching me how to do jobs around the house, like cleaning, cooking, and childcare. However the chores I was trained to do, I never see boys doing any of those. Also I observed how my mom was in the kitchen most of the time, taking care of my siblings, myself even my father. After this repetitive social interaction on gender roles, I began to model myself after her. My conceptions of appropriate gender roles are similar to my parents; in the way I understand a woman’s traditional role of homemaking and being a housewife. I stared to develop such roles like caretaker of the children, housekeeper, and cook. Later in life, like my mom I waited for my husband to come home to eat, and referred to him for decision-making.
On the other hand my concept of these roles has evolved with my life experience and based on unexpected circumstances. Now as a single mother I have adapted to do more traditionally masculine gender roles for example; car maintenance, house maintenance, play sports with my sons and now I am the only one who makes decisions at home. Furthermore while my concept of gender ideology remains, I have become less concerned with gender stereotypes. I understand gender roles are flexible, complicated and are heavily influenced, by economics, culture environment, and other factors. During high school my peers had a big influence of my gender role development. I typically only spent time with people of my same gender, because culturally it was consider inappropriate for boys and girls to socialize together. With my girl friends, we talked about things we had in common and enjoyed, like fashion, music, hair, nails and makeup.
My activities, interests, environment, culture, and peers all had an influence on the development of my understanding of gender roles. I had a boyfriend at the age of 19 and by then I had a good sense of myself as a woman and of what my gender roles were. Perhaps my boyfriend helped me to better understand my sensuality as a woman and my ability to express my feelings. The relationship also gave me the opportunity to learn about myself in a different way and from a different perspective other than my family’s.
The person who most influence my gender-role concept today, is my mother, because I continue the traditional roles that I learn when I was growing up at my home, like keeping the house clean, preparing fresh food for my family, and taking care taking of my children. Her concept of female gender roles created a big impact in my daily life as well as my parenting. As a single mother two boys and one girl, I find myself doing some things differently, not only am I teaching my daughter the traditional female gender roles around the house, but I am also encouraging her to get her education before family, value her intelligence and her beauty, to be independent and self confident.
I am also teaching my boys to cook, clean, to be thoughtful, express their emotions and care for those around them. On the surface gender roles are consistent through the generations, but I can see in my own family how these roles are becoming more broad and flexible. For example, by Mom is now more likely to make decisions on her own and she does not always wait for me dad to eat. Generally speaking men and women are more equal in and outside of the home. Men are more likely to participate in home making activities like food preparation and cleaning while women are also more likely to have a career outside of the home and be more financially independent. According to the text book children are socially trained in order to be able to adapt themselves to different circumstances based on their gender.
I think that as a parent, consciously or unconsciously, I keep modeling my kids to different social norms that are traditionally meaningful specially in my culture. In conclusion it is important to emphasized that gender roles are constantly adapting to many different circumstances not only from their families, but also from biology, economics, politics, education and culture.
Works Cited
Bryan Strong, Theodore F. Cohen: The marriage and family Experience, 2014 print.
Reflective Writing
Through this course I have really enjoyed learning about families and all of the different aspects related to this subject. Some of the topics I found the most interesting include divorce, gender roles, parenthood, and blended families. I learned how to develop basic strategies and skills that I can apply to my life to become a better parent and maybe a future wife.
There was a lot of useful information that helped me to get a better understanding about single motherhood and parenting. It was interesting to interpret my own experiences, and analyzed them with a more positive perspective. Through out the semester we focus in various behavior patterns, extended families, kinship system, gender theory, etc. I really like how the professor used real life examples and videos that related to the topics in order to help us understand the class lecture in a fun and simple way.
Furthermore this course also made me think out of the box, develop new critical thinking skills, learn more of the functions of the family, how to work together and be a good communicator. Personally, having been divorced, this course was really useful because, I was able to understand mistakes that I have made in my past, and therefore I learned a better way of handling some situations in the future. I also learned how to avoid conflict in family relationships.
In conclusion I would like to sincerely express my appreciation to my professor who even share his vulnerable personal experiences and feelings with the class so we could connect more empathetically with others. Thank you.
Through this course I have really enjoyed learning about families and all of the different aspects related to this subject. Some of the topics I found the most interesting include divorce, gender roles, parenthood, and blended families. I learned how to develop basic strategies and skills that I can apply to my life to become a better parent and maybe a future wife.
There was a lot of useful information that helped me to get a better understanding about single motherhood and parenting. It was interesting to interpret my own experiences, and analyzed them with a more positive perspective. Through out the semester we focus in various behavior patterns, extended families, kinship system, gender theory, etc. I really like how the professor used real life examples and videos that related to the topics in order to help us understand the class lecture in a fun and simple way.
Furthermore this course also made me think out of the box, develop new critical thinking skills, learn more of the functions of the family, how to work together and be a good communicator. Personally, having been divorced, this course was really useful because, I was able to understand mistakes that I have made in my past, and therefore I learned a better way of handling some situations in the future. I also learned how to avoid conflict in family relationships.
In conclusion I would like to sincerely express my appreciation to my professor who even share his vulnerable personal experiences and feelings with the class so we could connect more empathetically with others. Thank you.